W.S. Walcott Medicine Show

I remember a perfect September morning, cloudless sky, a ten out of ten…like it was yesterday

Standing in my trading booth, reviewing the previous day’s trades and positions…like it was yesterday

The lights and monitors flash…like it was yesterday

The tape reports a small plane has flown into one of the twin towers…like it was yesterday

I turn my attention to the CNN feed on the monitor of the fire in the tower…like it was yesterday

As if in slow motion, I watch as another LARGE plane flies into and what looks like straight through the other tower, the lights go out, the building shakes…like it was yesterday

Confusion, WTF is happening, the lights come back on…like it was yesterday

We are told to leave the building, I collect my briefcase and suit jacket and go outside…like it was yesterday

Paper is raining down all around, like it was a ticker tape parade…like it was yesterday

Speculation, worry, confusion, fear, no panic…like it was yesterday

The smell of burning fuel…like it was yesterday

I search around for fellow employees to inquire what we should do…like it was yesterday

Are we under attack, is the stock exchange a target…like it was yesterday

I head down Broad St. to my offices only to realize that they are being evacuated…like it was yesterday

No cell phone signal, what is happening…like it was yesterday

The Staten Island Ferry terminal is chaos…people everywhere, trying to leave the island.  Are the ferries running, are the ferries a target, what’s going on, no cell signal, I wait…like it was yesterday

A ferry arrives, thousands of people are trying to get on it, finally a cell signal…like it was yesterday

I get on the boat and see a fellow floor trader, he knows nothing as well, we hear a thunderously LOUD explosion, we turn and look up the Battery Park Esplanade to witness a sea of people RUNNING, RUNNING, RUNNING as they are chased by a plume, no make that a wall of smoke…like it was yesterday

Within seconds the ferry itself is encapsulated with that very same smoke, only its not smoke at all but what’s left of Tower 2…like it was yesterday.

People are now hysterical, crying, praying, searching and reaching for life preservers as the ferry finally leaves its slip…like it was yesterday.

The longest ferry ride of my life, as we sail out of the smoky cloud we turn to see what should have been lower Manhattan but right now is just a HUGE cloud of smoke, dust and powdered debris…like it was yesterday

Will the ferry be a sitting duck in the NY harbor for whomever is doing this, what else have they or are they going to hit, the Verrazano Bridge, who knows what’s going on…like it was yesterday

We get to Staten Island, and they are already setting the terminal up as a catastrophic triage center…like it was yesterday

I hear that one of the towers has collapsed, the other a complete inferno…like it was yesterday

I look across the harbor, skies still impeccably blue except for lower Manhattan which is hidden behind a huge bubble of smoke…like it was yesterday

I rush to my boy’s school to get them, is NY under siege or under attack, no one knows…like it was yesterday

The kids don’t know anything, but there are parents everywhere picking them all up.  Firefighters in full gear hugging and saying goodbye to their kids, parents like myself, hugging and squeezing my boys trying to let them and myself know that its going to be alright…like it was yesterday

Sirens going off everywhere…like it was yesterday

I drive down the street and see a friend driving maniacally the wrong way on a one way…like it was yesterday

His brother would eventually run through the Battery Tunnel with full firefighter gear, never to return…like it was yesterday

My boys, “whats going on dad?”…like it was yesterday

The second tower comes down as we watch on TV…like it was yesterday

We sit, wait, devastated, paralyzed, in shock…like it was yesterday

Phone calls, when you can get a signal.  Any word on so and so, how about, have we heard about…like it was yesterday

Night fall comes and we walk to our church for a candle light vigil and more importantly (hopefully) information…like it was yesterday

We try to sleep but that doesn’t happen…like it was yesterday

The smell of the blazing rubble across the harbor, miles away already permeates the air around us…like it was yesterday

Suspicious van parked across the street, what’s it doing there, who is that…like it was yesterday

Still no word on so many friends, acquaintances and associates…like it was yesterday

Glued to the TV, helpless…like it was yesterday

I can’t do this anymore, 2 friends (one a retired cop with credentials) decide to go to Manhattan to help and maybe find some news out…like it was yesterday

We get across the Brooklyn Bridge into Manhattan before night fall, a ghost town until you head a little further south,  closer to ground zero…like it was yesterday

The streets are covered in inches of white powder, debris, soot…like it was yesterday

Handing out snacks and water to the first responders as they come away briefly for a rest…like it was yesterday

I see a firefighter I know, relieved to see he’s OK, have you heard anything about so and so, how about…like it was yesterday

I walk down Church St, getting all the way down to Cortlandt St, even with the construction mask, the fumes and smell are overwhelming.  Fires rage, and the charred steel skeletons of the towers protrude everywhere…like it was yesterday

Two loud shrilling horns blast and as if by magic, everyone begins to run, and I mean RUN up Church St.  The Millennium Hotel across the street from the WTC was structurally damaged and the horns were warnings that it may be coming down.  I had never literally run for my life before and I hope never to have to ever again…like it was yesterday

I finally stop at Reade St, many blocks north of ground zero and on the street corner is a jet engine…like it was yesterday

An FBI agent asks (tells) me to stay with it to make sure no one touches or does anything to it.  I do as I am told for what feels like hours…like it was yesterday

I get home just before dawn on 9/13, exhausted but relieved and mildly satisfied that I was able to help in a very minor way…like it was yesterday

News would trickle in daily that so and so was OK, that so and so didn’t make it…like it was yesterday

The smell of smoke a constant presence for weeks and weeks and even as the months went by depending on the direction of the wind…like it was yesterday

Finally went back to work on the exchange, lower Manhattan was a war zone…like it was yesterday

Responders would come to the floor throughout the day for food and a rest and for months and months trading would stop and an eruption of applause would take place…like it was yesterday

For the next year there would be services and wakes and funerals almost on a daily basis…like it was yesterday

Waiting on line for literally hours to pay respects to another one of our fallen heroes and heroines, block long motorcades for funeral processions bringing traffic to a halt and no one minding having to wait because it didn’t matter in the big scheme of things…like it was yesterday

The most recent being for a lifelong friend and neighbor who passed a couple of years ago from lung cancer brought on from being at ground zero for such a long time afterwards…like it was yesterday

Trying to move on with post 9-11 world for 12 years now…when does tomorrow come?

Originally written on 2012-09-11